{"id":181,"date":"2011-09-12T21:31:23","date_gmt":"2011-09-13T01:31:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runtheworldonmac.wordpress.com\/2011\/09\/12\/where-do-i-start\/"},"modified":"2025-02-21T02:20:46","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T02:20:46","slug":"where-do-i-start","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/2011\/09\/12\/where-do-i-start\/","title":{"rendered":"Where do I start?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I could start on about the douche on his cell conducing what must have been exclusive business in the line at McDonalds this morning; I often see Donald Trump doing same at Arby&#8217;s. Maybe I could begin with talking about the decay of western society and how when panhandling it is best done when you can say &#8220;can you spare some change&#8221; faster then it takes for someone to walk buy; perhaps lay off the aqua velva.<\/p>\n<p>That however is all negative and I&#8217;d like to keep it light and positive before bed. I have a new mission in life. I am currently trying to learn how to fart without holding my breath. In recent attempts to create the impression I had exhausted myself naturally, I had been caught red handed pushing which poked holes in my excuse that it had slipped. I have developed a tell. It seems as though it was evident I held my breath. I can&#8217;t very well blame the dog with a popped blood vessel in one eye and my face blue from lack of oxygen. I&#8217;m not sure how to tackle this feat which seems much like sneezing with your eyes open, without shitting my pants.<\/p>\n<p>Wish me luck,<\/p>\n<p>Scott<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I could start on about the douche on his cell conducing what must have been exclusive business in the line at McDonalds this morning; I often see Donald Trump doing same at Arby&#8217;s. Maybe I could begin with talking about the decay of western society and how when panhandling it is best done when you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[129],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-kilted-scott-archive"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=181"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1119,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions\/1119"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agingeredscott.ca\/aks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}